Mindfulness Barometer:
7 Mood-Watching Secrets
by
Maya Frost
I consider myself a pro when
i5t comes to watching mood swings. After all, I've
had plenty of my own, and I've had the added advantage
of having four teenage daughters to observe.
Our home climate is remarkably
clear and sunny. That's precisely why it is so easy
to watch a mood coming over the horizon.
Think about it. If you're
in the middle of a storm, you can't even see the horizon,
let alone remember to look that direction in order
to be aware of what's heading your way. You need clear
skies for that--or at least a very high cloud cover.
Mood-watching is a fascinating
mindfulness exercise, and you've got plenty of high
and low pressure areas of your own to keep you busy.
The trick is learning how to read the ol' mood barometer.
You can do this with your
own moods, but frankly, it's a lot easier to practice
by watching others. In both cases, we need to learn
how to recognize the signs of an approaching storm.
We tend to get in the way
of understanding our own moods while we're in them.
We're better at developing our mood-watching skills
when we start with someone else's storm. So, let's
do that.
By becoming a—key word
here—nonjudgmental observer
of the moods of those you love, you can learn a great
deal about yourself and your own reactions. Here are
seven key mood-watching elements:
#1
Take a look at the satellite map. What's
coming up in the next few hours or days? A test? An
interview? A break-up? A big game? A project deadline?
Be aware of the high and low pressure zones and pay
attention to any merging storm fronts that could result
in gale force winds.
#2
Don't rely on the forecast exclusively.
Sometimes the storms that are predicted on the 11:00
news never materialize. It's great to know what's
expected, but don't forget to check things out for
yourself. Perfect storm conditions might end up as
blue skies. Watch faces for signs of tension, sadness,
or frustration. Watch bodies for adrenalin responses
(using arms and legs to slam, stomp, pound, etc.)
ASK. Offer reassurances—a soothing voice, a
hand on a shoulder—that you are there and you
care. And if, despite dire warnings, the storm never
develops, acknowledge and celebrate that!
#3 Be
prepared. How can you respond lovingly to
another's storm? By planning ahead. Plan to be available,
if only to listen. Plan to be a calming presence.
Plan to take nothing personally when those inevitable
winds lash at you.
#4
Ride it out. Ah, yes. Here's the
tough one. Don't let someone else's storm become YOURS.
We all say and do things when we're in a full-on mood
hurricane, and it can get ugly. Yelling at the wind
won't change its direction or force, and when you're
talking about mood storms, adding your own wind only
makes things worse. Remember: your role is not to
stop the storm, get mad at it, sulk about it, or hide
from it. Be present, and watch.
#5
Clean up as a team. This is definitely
THE most important part of mood-watching. Once that
storm has passed and emotions have settled, it's time
to assess the damage. Your role here is to engage
your loved one in the process of learning from this
torrential downpour of emotion. And be clear about
this—BOTH of you can learn from it. Your intention
is to discover ways to deal with similar storms more
skillfully in the future.
#6
Enjoy the sun. A common mistake we
make is to dwell on the mood storm long after it has
passed. Here comes the sun! Celebrate that, enjoy
it, and don't get caught up in the memory of the dark
clouds of yesterday.
#7
Don't worry about the next storm until you
see it coming. Sure, you want to keep your
eye on the barometer, but you don't need to stay glued
to the 24-hour weather channel. There's bound to be
another mood storm eventually, but until then, revel
in the sunshine.
By sharpening your mood-watching
skills, you will develop greater mindfulness and learn
how to handle whatever comes your way. Your loved
ones will benefit from your loving attention, and
you will pick up a few tips for the next time your
own mood storm starts brewing.
© Copyright 2005, Maya Frost
Maya Frost
has taught thousands of people how to pay attention. Through her
company, Real-World Mindfulness Training™, she offers
playful, powerful, eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation.
To read her free tips and tricks for everyday awareness, visit
http://www.Real-WorldMindfulness.com
