Mindful Sex:
Right There, Right Now
by Maya Frost
Mindfulness is downright sexy.
After all, what's hotter than a partner who
is paying attention? Being Right There, fully
in the moment, is about as perfect as it gets.
So, it comes as a bit of a
surprise to me that we don't really use the term "mindfulness"
in relation to loving relationships—let alone
love in the afternoon.
This should be common, mainstream,
slap-your-forehead-and-say-"Duh!" kind of
knowledge. I don't pretend to be an expert on what
goes on between the sheets (although I did conceive
and give birth to four children within five years)
but I do know this: it is absolutely completely impossible
to have a truly satisfying romantic sexual moment
unless you are Right There in it.
Oh, sure, it's possible to
experience physical pleasure when your mind is on
something—or someone—other than that which
shares your sheets. But we're talking about
meaningful, connected, one-with-the-universe kind
of lovemaking, and that, my friends, calls
for Mindfulness with a capital M.
It doesn't have to be tantric.
You don't have to master every kama sutra position.
It doesn't need to be burn-the-house-down wild. You
don't even need any props or helpful devices.
It can be your regular Tuesday
night missionary position in your socks and still
be ka-ZAM—if you're paying attention.
Oh, and here's a not-so-secret
secret: if you are paying attention, chances are good
that your partner will be affected and grateful enough
to start paying more attention as well. See how that
works?
Just as some people expect
to have meaningful family dinners with the television
blaring, some folks attempt to have feel-the-earth-move
sex while conjuring grocery lists or project memos
in their heads.
Not possible.
By bringing mindfulness to
the bedroom and beyond, you will also bring
a greater sense of intention and focus, and
your body will do a lot better when your mind is on
the same page.
Instead of following those
magazine articles that tell you "what do to in
bed to drive him/her wild!!!!!" it would be more
beneficial to focus on what NOT to do. In other words,
do only that which you are doing, and nothing else.
The next time you
get lucky, get mindful. Be Right There, fully
immersed in your sensations, connections, and loving
communications with your partner. Put your whole heart—and
mind—into it.
Now, that's sexy.
© Copyright 2005, Maya Frost
Maya Frost
has taught thousands of people how to pay attention. Through her
company, Real-World Mindfulness Training™, she offers
playful, powerful eyes-wide-open
alternatives to meditation.
To read her free tips and tricks for everyday awareness, visit
http://www.Real-WorldMindfulness.com
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