Surfing
Your Adrenalin Wave:
Avoiding Anger Wipe-Outs
by Maya
Frost
Feel that rising tide of anger?
Surf's up! Start paddling.
Whenever we feel angry or
frustrated, we get a blast of adrenalin coursing through
our bloodstream. In the fight or flight response to
stress, our bodies rely on our appendages.
We need to hit, kick, jump or run away, and our bodies
help out by sending extra blood to our limbs.
If we were living in the wild
and had to actually fight off a predator or run away
to escape, this would make perfect sense. But in a
typical day, we just don't need those survival mechanisms
like we used to. In fact, we do our best to thwart
our body's response to stress by suppressing our physical
reactions.
Oh, sure, we still use our
extremities to express our anger. We raise our fists,
pound on the desk, slam doors or cupboards, kick the
garbage can, or stomp our feet. Still, since we're
trying to be civilized and all, we use words more
than body parts to react to whatever upsets us. This
is good in that we don't want to go around hitting
people. Slugging your boss may be biological, but
it won't get you too far in your corporate climb.
So, instead of the fight or
flight response our predecessors relied upon, we've
developed more of what I call an "explode or
seethe" response.
Some of us react right away when we're upset. We clench
our fists, do some wild gesticulating, raise our voices,
or slam doors. Others tend to seethe. We
suck in our breath, count to ten, hold it, and keep
our frustration covered by a tight smile or maybe
a little gasp of exasperation, but that's about it.
There's also the classic combo
of the seether/exploder. You know the type: they just
keep their heads down, don't say a word, and then
out of the blue they go into a tirade that rattles
the roof.
It's interesting that we consider
a seether as more evolved than an exploder. We value
those who are able to keep their emotions in check.
In our culture, the seethers are the "nice"
people who surprise us by keeling over from a heart
attack or stroke.
We've been programmed to sit
and seethe. It's as though we're stepping on the gas
(adrenalin) and slamming on the brakes (inactivity)
at the same time. Try doing that in your car, and
you'll burn up your engine. That's what we're doing
to our bodies.
We've eliminated a lot of
the activity of daily life. We don't scrub floors,
churn butter, wash clothes by hand, hoe the garden,
walk everywhere, or otherwise eliminate our stress
through regular movement. We sit in our cars, sit
at our desks, and sit in front of the television.
It's no wonder we're obese and suffering from the
effects of stress!
The sit-and-seethe
starts early. Consider a two-year-old having
a tantrum. Picture a little body flailing about, all
arms and legs. That's adrenalin in all its glory!
No suppression of instincts, just a pure, unadulterated
expression of physiology at work.
We can't have kids growing
up and throwing tantrums. It's just not socially acceptable.
So, we give the two-year-old a "time out"
to cool off. This is like asking a charging bull to
sit and sip a bit of tea in that proverbial china
shop. And the sit-and-seethe habit begins.
With all our blood rushing
to our extremities, our brains are getting the leftovers.
This is the worst possible time for us to
be logical. When we're angry and that adrenalin
is surging, we're far more likely to say things we'll
regret and to make decisions that will have us shaking
our heads later.
If you really want to take
advantage of your body's natural mechanism for survival,
you might as well learn to work with it. The good
news is that, with a little flexibility, we can use
our physiology to help us thrive and even make us
healthier.
You've got to move, and you've
got to breathe. Isn't it convenient that those two
go together so well?
Here are the four best strategies
for surfing your adrenalin wave:
* Paddle.
Your arms and legs need movement, so look for acceptable
ways to get active. Go to the restroom and do some
jumping jacks if you can't sneak away for a walk or
head to the gym for a workout. Move some boxes. Sort
the recycling. Reshelve some books. Beat the rugs.
Shake out the comforters. Go for a run. Crank up your
stereo and dance with the kids in the living room.
Jump on the exercise bike or go cycling around the
neighborhood. Walk to another part of the building.
Find a corner and do some push-ups. Activate those
appendages!
* Laugh.
When we're angry, our bellies tighten up. We take
shallow breaths at the chest level. This just adds
to the brain drain! We need to relax enough that our
bellies can move freely as we breathe, and if we don't
get that by doing some cardio that makes us huff and
puff, the next best thing is to laugh. Get a laugh
partner, and agree to call and guffaw--no talking
allowed. Bust a gut, and breathe deeply.
* Sing. You
need some serious exhalations, so jump in the shower
and blast out your favorite power ballad. Get in your
car and sing along with the radio. Releasing sound
is therapeutic in itself. Conduct your imaginary orchestra, play a little air guitar or throw in some dance moves
and you've got it covered!
* Move FIRST, then meditate. Oh, I know. We've been taught to take a big breath (that part is good) and sit quietly when we're angry. We're supposed to be mature, after all. No tantrums allowed.
But pay attention here--what is your BODY telling you? Ignore that voice in your head that says "Sit still, it will all be fine" and instead try listening to your body. Be active first, and
then sit. The only way
to handle that adrenalin in a healthy way is to engage
physically. Pay attention to your body first, and then watch your thoughts in order to understand more about your reaction.
Next time you get mad, get
moving and surf that adrenalin wave in order to avoid an anger wipe-out!
Work with your body instead
of against it. Learn to surf that adrenalin wave,
and you'll become a better decision maker, a more
relaxed parent, and a healthier human.
© Copyright 2005, Maya Frost
Maya Frost has taught thousands of people how to pay attention. Through her
company, Real-World Mindfulness Training™, she offers
powerful eyes-wide-open alternatives to meditation.
To read her free tips and tricks for everyday awareness, visit
http://www.Real-WorldMindfulness.com
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